Paige and the Craigslist Ad

This is the second little short for my ongoing writings on Paige Macintosh.  You can read the first installment here.  I’m writing these out of chronological order, there will be gaps, but I hope you enjoy the mini-stories of Paige regardless.  I also hope you have as much fun reading this one as I did writing it!  As always, comments and insights are very welcome here.

**********

Paige’s phone vibrated on the pillow next to her. She looked up from her book, eyeing her phone with suspicion. A minute of silence followed before it vibrated again. Sighing, she grabbed her phone and checked her messages.

Lacey: Heyyy girl! You coming out or what?
Lacey: Imma take the silence as a no, slut. Your missin out!

“I told you I wasn’t going to go anyways,” Paige said to no one in particular.  She tossed her phone back on the bed without replying back.

It was the first Friday of the month, marking Lacey and her roommate’s monthly party. This month’s theme was CEO’s & Office Ho’s. Paige didn’t actually enjoy these parties, but she had considered attending this one just to get out of the apartment. However, after a close inspection of her closet she determined she didn’t own anything slutty or suity enough to wear.

So instead of being ground on by drunken suit-donning guys, she was at home in her pajamas, attempting to take her mind off of matters by reading. It was working well at first, but then Lacey texted her, and a heavy bass line kicked up in the apartment above. Of course there would be no peace for her on Friday.

Paige eventually gave up on reading and walked out into the living room.  A loud thud followed by yells filtered through the ceiling.  She glanced up, bemused.  Unable to decipher their words, she turned away and shook her head.

“Must be some party,” she said, walking over to her stack of DVD’s.  Paige sat down on the floor, trying to decide what she was in the mood to watch.  Moulin Rouge?  Too sad.  The Boondock Saints?  Too violent.  I Heart Huckabees?  Too existential.  She paused as she came across the last movie in the pile.  A smile spread across her face.  The Princess Bride?  Just right, as always.

Another wave of exclamations floated down to her from above.  “Ugh, I’m probably the only person not doing anything tonight. I need different friends,” she muttered as she turned on the PS3.  She put the DVD in, frowning as the console made a loud whirring noise in protest.  A steady round of clicking noises sounded.  “That’s definitely not good,” she said.  There was a final click before the PS3 shut itself off.  Paige blinked in disbelief.

“No, don’t do this to me!” Paige pleaded to the console.  She turned it back on, trying again.  Despite her efforts, the PS3 refused to cooperate.  “I just can’t win!” She cried.  Pouting, she put the DVD back and resigned herself to the couch.

She picked up her laptop and mindlessly started browsing the internet.  After an hour of Facebook and StumbleUpon Paige eventually found herself on Craigslist.  The cursor hovered over the usual ‘jobs’ category.  Before she clicked, something on the left caught her eye.  It was the first line under the Personals section.  Strictly Platonic.  Is that a fancy way of saying ‘looking for friends’?  

Paige shrugged and clicked the link anyways.  Her head tilted as she read the titles.

Just looking for some fun  m4w – 24
Hella bored, some1 hit me up!  m4mw  19
Looking for a gal pal to chill with!
new 2 town lets hang out, 420 friendly  21
Workout Buddy!  w4w –  26

She rolled her eyes.  “I can’t believe people actually respond to these!  Aren’t there any intelligent people who post here?”  She questioned.  Scanning the Ads, she finally found a decent title.

I’m just looking for someone nice to talk to.  m4w  – 23

“Hmm, he doesn’t seem so bad,” she remarked.  “Oh! There’s even a picture!  Maybe he’s cute,” Paige said excitedly.  She clicked the link and read the description.

Just looking for a girl to talk to and chill with, maybe watch some movies together or what not.  Hopefully it can lead to something more.  Hit me up if you like my pic.  Reply with your fav color so I know youre real.

She scrolled down, expecting a generic Facebook photo.  What she got, however, was a good dose of erect penis in her face.

Paige reeled back, her eyes wide.  He wasn’t even trying to hide anything, not that he needed to, she observed.  She quickly exited the browser, feeling dirty.  “Oh that was so not platonic!”  She exclaimed.  “It probably wasn’t even his!”

Slowly she started to smile, then laugh.  Paige sat there for several minutes, not even trying to suppress her giggles.

“I think I deserved that,” she said to herself, still cackling.

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About Aly Hughes
Unprofessional, unedited, unpublished. Aly is out to make a name for herself by blogging, twittering, facebooking, and general internet-ing. Be warned: She may not know what she's talking about.

8 Responses to Paige and the Craigslist Ad

  1. A great little short and a nice slice-of-life tale. Though, since I’ve had a PS3 die suddenly as well, I must wonder if Paige would really get over its loss so quickly. (For me there was a great deal more swearing. I think I may have even called down Ragnarok, but the whole thing is fuzzy now.)

    • Aly Hughes says:

      haha, you’re right, if mine failed me I’d be a bit more colorful in my language. When I go back through and re-write these I’ll definitely include the details that it’s not actually her ps3. It’s her ex-boyfriends, who she still shares an apartment with(more stories to come on that front). So she’s not really upset that the ps3 isn’t working, she’s upset that she can’t watch her movie.

      Thank you for bringing that to my attention! This is why I like sharing my writing and hearing feedback. 🙂

  2. amhudlow says:

    And here I was thinking that she had found the one “personals” ad on Craigslist that didn’t have a dick pic. Lol I’m really happy that I was wrong. Again, I loved this story and can’t wait until the next Paige adventure.

    • Aly Hughes says:

      As Paige’s first time browsing Craigslist personals, I couldn’t let her go without coming across one! I’m really glad you enjoyed this story too, I hope the next one doesn’t disappoint!

  3. Debra Kristi says:

    Hahahaha! I was cracking up. Thanks for that. I can’t imagine shopping the Craigslist personals. Every time a gaming system or computer around here fails there is all kinds of cussing going on. It really isn’t pretty.

    • Aly Hughes says:

      I had honestly never looked at the personal ads until I thought, why wouldn’t Paige, someone in desperate need of new friends, at least look at the ads? When I go through and edit/re-write these, I’m definitely going to add more of a reaction about the console failing. I try to keep my cursing to a minimum, but when the occasion warrants a few choice words, I won’t shy away! 🙂
      Thanks for the comment, I’m glad the story made you laugh!

  4. miq says:

    I loved how this piece opened. Mostly because that is exactly what I do when my phone rings. And then I loved how it ended, absolutely classic craigslist. Well done.

    • Aly Hughes says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the comment! The beginning is definitely how I treat my phone when I don’t want to be bothered at the moment. 🙂

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